April 30, 2024

Where those labels are seemingly incongruous is where our complicated, loving relationship lives

Monday, 15 April 2024 by

As my trans heartthrob tells me: “TERFs don’t have space for the complexities and nuances of individuals. TERF ideology is based on fear, pain and the desire to beste datingside Polen ‘other’. And I have no interest in defining myself by other people’s pain.”

My lesbianism is inclusive; it celebrates gender diversity as much as it celebrates women; it celebrates different expressions of sapphic love and attraction; it celebrates camaraderie and a shared history with queer people of all genders. It celebrates its own queerness.

M y attraction to Amelia is queer, as theirs is to me: there are sapphic elements to our relationship, there is a playful balance of masculine, feminine, androgynous and pure chaotic energies

“Labels develop with time and safety,” my stunning partner and co-pet-parent reflects. “Non-binary is the best descriptor for me, and lesbian is the best descriptor for you.

O utside of our home, we are mistaken for a lesbian couple. While this doesn’t reflect the complexities of our identities, it does shape how we experience the world.

By ourselves, we are just two people in love, doing DIY projects (Amelia), making collages out of old porno mags (Alex) and imitating silly voices for our pets (both).

We navigate the challenges of being a visibly queer couple in the world, and we honour the nuances of our private identities, even if these aren’t affirmed by society at large – when a waiter calls us “ladies”, when my outreach worker thinks “partner” equals “boyfriend”, or even when the queer community assumes “lesbian” means “women only”.

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